TW Issue XTODAYS WORLD
November 5 / 2007
Well this was bound to happen its the internet edition of Todays World and man this had to have surprised you
On the internet today you can send emails via a cellular phone or a laptop and you also can get a wireless internet by satellite on your laptop. Great for traveling and convenient if youre in a coffee shop. But now when your laptop gets stolen the thief can check his credit score online while getting away.
But really though you can buy just about anything online right now. In edition to that you can also edit anything you find on the internet. There are sites out there that even offer up fake IDs for about $20 USD. My point is that if anyone wanted to shut down something so big they would need to find the point in which majority of the internet is stored or in other words you cant shut it down.
What can I buy now?
Well you can by:
Food, homes, land, weapons, display case
Ha. Ok if you are one of the lucky few to know me in RL and at DA then you should know this. I have a split personality. I can be understanding in RL and hold back oh so much but on DA it is just as good as the junkyard in GA. DA is where I let out what ever I think and feel. One example would be TW. It is a joke paper but has some truth to it. I also have a feeling that describes no other. I hate fish but love to go fishing up north. I hate todays government but love the concept. I really hate the mornings but love what it will get me in a few years. Solid cash none of this A+ shit. I believe that in todays world the kids in high school lose interests in grades. They don't give a fling pig fuck about A, B, C, D, F If you want students to start passing start giving them money. Alright heres my plan. If your kid did 100% well he gets 100 dollars. If hes half ass like me then he gets 50 bucks. Any high school-er would agree with me. Why, because we need money, we
TW Issue IXTODAYS WORLD
October 29 / 2007
The war in Iraq might be able to be considered a civil war when the US pulls out. President and CEO of the United States visited the U.S.S. Arizona memorial today and said This is my future One of the agents was fired for snickering. The Pentagon is now adding another section to its building in order to confuse the cavemen in the Il-Kilda clan. They figure that they would make it a hexagon instead of a pentagon and move the building five inches closer to the white house for safety reasons. The president was also requested to be on the show Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader. He calmly said Dont I needed to pass kinder garden first?
Here is a tip for all you do-it your selfers out there. When your project does not look anywhere near the picture on the box it might be a good time to call for help. Also next time read the instructions and be ashamed. ITT is researching a new cure for cancer at one hospital in Minne
TW Issue VIIITODAYS WORLD
October 22 / 2007
Ok in Americas streets and prisons there are gangs. I have two solutions either send them to Iraq and let them get wasted or take them to the coliseum and let them duke it out for the Europeans to watch and pay us. Say about 100 Euros per seat, 10 for the drinks and food and bets start at 25 grand per thug. That way we can solve the crime problem and send the police men into Iraq after a few training exercises. Everybody wins for this. The gangs get to see the world and the US gets some nuclear day funds.
University of Minnesota is conducting a theory that people think smarter in a large roof room. People think even better if it was a dome. The university was stopped when they figured out the congress was under one of the biggest domes in the United States there by reversing there previous theory. People now think more clearly when there driving sixty with a cellular phone in there ear than Bush did when he decided to declare war. I
TW VIITODAYS WORLD
October 15 / 2007
For todays issue there is a slight chance of pissed off followed by a high sarcasm viewing. Enjoy but dont bitch.
Ok the seventh issue and no one really cares for a little sarcasm anymore. There are a few people that actually know how to laugh and for the love of the all caring Bush administration start reading and laugh. I dont write this shit to just be read I want to see laughter.
Ok in an add I seen in a paper I saw these bike lights that show off designs and time. So if you cant afford to waste money on a McDonalds watch you can spare $20 on a light up bike ornament. Look at the time and crash.
I say allow drugs, there getting in anyway so just legalize the damn things. The when the finally realize that they made a stupid choice for a few minutes of happy time. I believe that if a moron wants to fuck up his life, and then let him. Its one less life crowding this planet. There too many dumb asses on Cops n